All the winter birds were singing your name today. We were driving down that street and I didn't even notice until she didn't make the turn you always would. I sat quietly through lunch and then walked home on pavement you would have called silent. I kicked every leaf, looking up at the sun and hating it for witnessing this.
I kept thinking that if you only looked up and felt the sun’s heat you would remember and I wouldn’t feel so alone. But you didn’t, and I didn’t. I kept thinking that if I could remind you of that time in that cab in Brooklyn, you’d remember how you felt and maybe then I wouldn’t feel so alone. All I wanted was to have you look at me like you used to for only a minute, because I can’t even recognize myself anymore. I’m weak and tired, my hands shake and I can’t control my tears. When I finally got back, I turned the TV on loud to make it seem like someone else was home.
I kept thinking that if you only looked up and felt the sun’s heat you would remember and I wouldn’t feel so alone. But you didn’t, and I didn’t. I kept thinking that if I could remind you of that time in that cab in Brooklyn, you’d remember how you felt and maybe then I wouldn’t feel so alone. All I wanted was to have you look at me like you used to for only a minute, because I can’t even recognize myself anymore. I’m weak and tired, my hands shake and I can’t control my tears. When I finally got back, I turned the TV on loud to make it seem like someone else was home.